put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Pooping to opera.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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