So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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