I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
