New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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