just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize