I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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