Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
