Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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