new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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