I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
