This is not my ceiling
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
