so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
