thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
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My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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