you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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