Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
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So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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