So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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