We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
