Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
