after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
