Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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