We're like a lot better than the average bears
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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