Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
