Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
