Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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