So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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