I think I am morally bankrupt
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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