Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
