Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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