What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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