hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
