Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like death gave me a hand job
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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