so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
