i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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