He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
why is half of my head shaved?
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