Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize