he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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