i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
40s are totally the cure
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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