i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
