The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Apparently you make a good broom.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
