i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
