how can u be prego again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
