well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ttyl tear gas
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
