Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im holly from the hills drunk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize