the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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