god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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