i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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