Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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