omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
