just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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