We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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