Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want nice things and good sex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
