Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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