I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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