im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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