What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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