his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
