Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My breasts were aching with rage.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
