Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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