He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize