Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
