I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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