I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
