can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
did i just pee glitter
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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