Got a toothbrush?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
