he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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