We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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