I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
