The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
