I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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