if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
