my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
