Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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