I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
