I'm so fucking centered right now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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